February 2024: Things That Aren't For Us

We want to begin this month with a shout out to everyone who attended a gathering last month. The conversations about accountability and saviorism were deep and in many cases, left us with more questions than answers. One theme that kept coming up was the need to build relationships as part of our accountability practice. We love this since we believe relationships and community are the heart of CWC.

We’re also excited that so many of you have expressed interest in hosting a CWC gathering in 2024. We look forward to all that is possible as the community of hosts grows.

This month's prompt is inspired by one of the questions that came up during the hosting information sessions: what does a host do if someone says the “n” word during a gathering? Although the answer is clear (we explain in the moment that Black folks have asked us not to use or say that word and that it’s not our word to say, even in spaces where Black people aren’t present), it got us thinking about 1) the challenge of calling other white people in and 2) all of the things, especially language, that aren’t for us as white people and how that makes us feel.

To help us explore these thoughts, we will watch author Ta Nehisi Coates explain why some things aren’t for everyone.

We’ll use the following prompts to help deepen our reflection:

What questions, if any, do you have after listening to Ta Nehisi’s response?
What feelings come up for you when you consider that not everything is for you?
How do/would you respond to a white person who uses the “n” word, or asks, “Why can Black people say the ‘n’ word, but White people can’t?”
Ta Nehisi says, “To be Black is to walk through the world and watch people doing things that you cannot do...so I think there is a lot to learn from refraining.” With that in mind, what else isn't for us (e.g., things white people culturally appropriate, etc.)?
What might you do differently moving forward, if anything?

Considering the ways in which we as white people claim things that are not meant for us is an important step in making the unconscious conscious and deepening our sense of humility. As always, if the prompt doesn’t inspire or you disagree with what Ta Nehisi says, come to a gathering and talk about that. All perspectives are welcome at CWC.

“You can’t lead the people if you don’t love the people. You can’t save the people if you don’t serve the people.” — Cornel West, philosopher, political activist and social critic